Finding a Balance

Executive Coaching
for Your Career and Life

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Client Stories
· Completing the Circle
Finding a Balance
· It's Never Too Late

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Alan Becker: Your Coach

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Alan Becker
MBA, CPCC

Finding a Balance

I first met Shannon in 1997 when she was the executive director of a very successful research foundation. She seemed so at ease and confident that I was surprised when she asked me to be her coach. It seemed as if she "had it all together." How, I wondered, might she benefit from coaching?

Before our first session, I asked Shannon to think about what she wanted our primary focus to be. Her response:

Achieving a better balance between her personal and professional goals
Establishing a system that would allow her to focus on what she does best
Improving the foundation board's perception of her responsibilities and accomplishments

As we talked about this third goal, Shannon explained that, although she felt the board thought she was doing a good job, they seemed to take her for granted. Her annual review consisted of "Everything's fine. We're giving you a two-percent raise." She was hungry for recognition, and this desire was pushing her to work far beyond the hours required of her.

"I feel guilty when I'm not working 50 hours a week," she said. Exploring this with me, Shannon found she was holding onto an underlying belief: "If I just work a little harder and do better and better I'll get the recognition I want."

Shannon also found that she was being driven by other similar beliefs -- old attitudes that were not appropriate for the executive director of a large organization. For example:

She felt that she had to "do it all herself" -- that if she delegated work, others would think her lazy.
She did not trust the competence of her staff.
She was afraid of being a leader.

As her coach, it was my job to ask the questions that would help develop new attitudes. For example, I asked her to come up with benchmarks for her accomplishments -- other than working 50 hours a week!

Were the organization's goals clear?
Was there a plan in place to implement them?
What was her role in helping to reach those goals?

As she began to look at the organization's bigger picture, she began to substitute organizational goals for her own goals, and to work more and more through her staff.

One day I asked her, "What constitutes support for you?" On her list of responses, one stood out: "People not always agreeing with me could be a way of supporting me." She realized that open dialogue and constructive disagreement could be useful tools in furthering her own and the organization's goals, which were now more in synch with each other.

Shannon worked hard at making changes in her life. She trusted me, which was very important because I began to ask her to take some risks. She had to know that it was okay to fail -- that I would be there to support her if she needed me.

We began a "risk of the week" club. One risk was to call Senator Dianne Feinstein to ask her to support the organization. Another was to put on a workshop; for a long time she'd had an idea for one, but had never done anything about it. She took a risk -- rented a space, sent out flyers -- and got no response. On one level it was a failure, but on another level she felt she had given it her best shot and it was okay.

As she found that she could fail, learn, and move on, she took bigger risks with more lasting effects: delegating more responsibility to her staff, starting a strategic plan, reorganizing the way people reported to her.

The coaching relationship calls for a real personal connection between coach and client. Within our first three months, Shannon and I had forged this connection. Her integrity, commitment, and passion came through in our coaching sessions. I respected and liked the person Shannon is, and she knew she could count on my support.

Despite the outward appearance of confidence and well-being that had impressed me when we first met, Shannon had been feeling "burned out" in her work. Concerned that her personal life with her husband and daughter was suffering, she even contemplated leaving the organization. I gave her an assignment: "What would it take for me to stay?"

Shannon began to envision how she could best serve the organization. She developed a plan to improve her staff reporting, and made some changes in her own work habits.

She had her secretary start screening telephone calls. She stopped doing her own filing. Best of all, she let go of having to work 50 hours a week, and took a vacation with her family.

All this growth took about a year, during which we also dealt with the issue of the board. Shannon decided that it would be good for her to meet with each director individually, so they could get to know one another.

She was delighted with the results. Meeting in an informal and relaxed atmosphere allowed them to ask the questions they never asked in public meetings. It also gave Shannon a better sense of her board's interests and their level of knowledge about the organization.

When we had been working together for almost a year, the time for Shannon's annual review approached. We brainstormed how she could get the feedback she wanted from the board. We prepared an evaluation form for each board member, summarizing the organization's programs and goals and asking to them to evaluate Shannon's performance in each area.

The form turned out to be a useful tool: It not only provided a solid basis for evaluating her performance, but also reminded board members of the organization's programs and goals. Their response was excellent. Shannon felt she was getting really useful feedback and -- perhaps coincidentally, perhaps not -- a few months later she was promoted to the position of joint CEO, and six months later, to CEO.

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